


Magical Twins

by Anonymous



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Incest Play, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9196148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Newt is almost sure Theseus didn't mean for this to end up as incest chicken, but he definitely started it.Per the kinkmeme prompt: Scamander Twins - Hitachiin Twins Style; just any situation where the Scamander twins need to act out forbidden-brotherly-love in public.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Magical Twins - Zauberhafte Zwillinge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11804946) by [Queen_of_the_kingdom_in_my_head](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_of_the_kingdom_in_my_head/pseuds/Queen_of_the_kingdom_in_my_head)



> There's no actual incest, but definitely plenty of suggestions of it. This is pretty absurd.
> 
> Written for the kinkmeme prompt [here:](http://fantasticbeasts-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/1184.html?thread=1401760#cmt1401760)  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/e8/24/c8/e824c83b7d38d7daeacca028da736ec3.jpg
> 
> Just any situation where the Scamander twins need to act out forbidden-brotherly-love in public.
> 
> \+ extra cheesy lines.

" - your brother?" said the Auror currently cornering Newt by the pillar in the corner. He really was far too close, his hand on Newt's arm, his breath stinking of alcohol, and Newt was sincerely regretting even being dragged into this function. He'd been nodding absently for the last ten minutes, trying to escape. "You're twins, right?"

"Er," Newt said awkwardly, shrinking into himself, "I-if you wouldn't mind, maybe some - some space - "

"Newt, love," Theseus said, very suddenly right there beside him, slinging an arm around Newt's shoulders as he literally crowded the other Auror back. Theseus was pink-cheeked, with the glint in his eyes that meant he was being even more of a Gryffindor than usual. Newt still couldn't help his smile when Theseus grinned at him, bumping his chin against Newt's shoulder. "You've been hiding, haven't you? Who's your friend?"

Newt opened his mouth, closed it. The Auror said, pompously, "Ed Richards," and stuck out his hand, which Theseus took, shaking it a little too vigorously. The man's eyes flicked between them, something rapacious in his expression. "And you're Theseus Scamander, aren't you?"

"That's me," Theseus said. When Newt looked, his smile was a little dangerous, and Newt sighed and elbowed him gently in the ribs. Theseus glanced at him, eyes softening, and tilted his head in a clear question. Newt shook his head. "I see you've already met my lovely brother."

"He's, uh, been telling me all about you too," Richards said. Theseus's eyebrows crept up his forehead.

"Newt?" he said dubiously. "And what in Merlin's name has he been telling you?"

"Well, you know, boys will be boys and all," said Richards, shifting on his feet, his face suddenly red. "A-as much as it is amazing to meet you."

Theseus slanted a glance towards Newt as Newt frantically tried to search his memory for anything Richards had said for the past twenty minutes, half of which he'd spent slowly herding Newt back into a corner of the room. Newt remembered he'd been thinking of the baby Graphorn, but Richards' voice had just been a drone in the background of his head. His expression must have showed something of the sort because Theseus peered at Richards in the way that meant Legilimency, and then, suddenly, smiled.

"Ah," said Theseus, voice sly, "those things. Twins, you know." He leant into Newt from behind, and Newt slid him a suspicious look as Theseus's mouth brushed his ear. "Play along," Theseus whispered, so close Newt could feel it, and Newt struggled to make his expression something other than confused as Theseus said, louder, "Newt, you shouldn't be sharing such details with strangers."

"Details," Newt repeated, a little blankly, worried by the mischief in Theseus's grin. "Theseus - "

"But you'll make it up to me, won't you?" Theseus said, pitching his voice lower, intimate. Newt could feel his face warming despite himself - what was Theseus doing? "Tonight?"

As Theseus gazed at him expectantly, Newt said hesitantly, "Y-yes?"

"Grand," said Theseus, his thumb sliding along Newt's jaw, and he'd gotten rather close. Newt was starting to wonder what, exactly, that Auror Richards had been thinking. "I hope you don't mind if I steal my little brother away, Richards?" Newt glanced at Richards, who was red-faced when he nodded.

Newt's fingers were digging into Theseus's wrist by the time he managed to pull them away, and Newt hissed, "What was that?" as he dragged Theseus toward the nearby wall. "Theseus, honestly - "

"That man," Theseus said, looking smug, "is going to tell everyone in this room about us. Newt," he added, eyes wide, "we could get one over Percy. We could get one over Seraphina Picquery! She's here, too, you know? Imagine if she told the Minister."

"And you think they'll just - believe you?" Newt said, taking a step forward. "This isn't Hogwarts, Theseus, they all have _some_ sense, I hope - "

"They'll believe me if you keep that up," Theseus said, grinning slyly, and Newt abruptly realised he'd somehow crowded Theseus up against the wall. He quickly took a step back, ducking his head and surreptitiously glancing around the room. "Oh, come on, Newt, it's just a bit of fun. You know I adore you."

Newt looked at Theseus's face, a mirror of his own but for the lives they'd lived. Theseus had his best pleading expression on, and Newt felt himself relent. "Oh, fine," Newt sighed. "You'll do it anyway, won't you?"

"You know me so well," Theseus said, and then, smirking, leant forward to press his face in the crook of Newt's neck, where he sighed. "Just imagine their faces," he said dreamily.

"Somehow," Newt said, "I don't think you'll have to imagine."

And Theseus managed to keep it up all night. At least now, Newt knew the reason for the looks he kept getting, nothing like the former which-Scamander-is-that checks that always had people moving on. Indeed, he was suddenly absurdly popular even when Theseus wasn't hanging off his arm, and he was just finished expanding on the horrors of animal trafficking when the woman he was talking to said, "I heard - I don't mean - but you and, and Theseus - isn't it, illegal?"

"Oh," Newt said, desperately, "er, well, magical twins, you know."

Then, the rumour apparently swirling around was that these things weren't so taboo, back on the continent. Theseus had slid a hand from Newt's lower back down to his arse when carting him away and in retaliation, Newt had leant forward and bitten gently on Theseus's ear; "You cheat," Theseus said, with a near full-body shiver, and Newt had ducked his head and smiled. "Do you even know what they're saying about us Brits now? It's not fun if they think everyone's _fine_ with it."

"You can be convincing," Newt said insincerely, and Theseus ducked his head and muffled his laugh into Newt's shoulder.

"Just watch it, you," he threatened, and stepped up his game.

This apparently involved holding Newt's hand, leaning in like he was tired and occasionally interjecting whatever conversation they were having with asides to Newt that were, well, completely terrible; to "You don't see each other very often?" Theseus said with all appearance of sincerity, "No, and even if they say the heart grows fonder - sometimes I just want to tie Newt to the bed and never let him go."

"Theseus," Newt protested, and when Theseus turned to him with wide, bright eyes Newt said, "You know I'd stay, if - if you wanted me to."

Theseus's mouth twitched; Newt gave himself a mental point. "I couldn't force you," Theseus said intently, "I know how much your work means to you."

And so it went. To Percival Graves, who looked precisely like Grindelwald masquerading as Percival Graves, Theseus said, " - and this is my lovely little brother, Newt. He saved you from that business earlier this year, didn't he?"

"I didn't do much - " Newt started, but Graves, watching them with an oddly bemused expression, nodded.

"Yes, a... magizoologist, wasn't it?"

"That's right," said Theseus, and his arm was already around Newt's waist but Newt was pulled closer, anyway. Theseus smiled at him, eyes softening. "Newt's a deft hand with all sorts of magical creatures. And with me, too," he added like an afterthought.

"Theseus!" Newt exclaimed, and hid his warming face in Theseus's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, he's shy," Theseus explained, his hand on the back of Newt's neck, rubbing soothingly. Newt's fingers on his hip tightened to the point where he hoped Theseus came away with bruises. "Sometimes it just gets too much for him, you know? But he's absolutely perfect."

"Not as perfect as you," Newt said, with a straight face and glistening eyes, and Theseus sighed and pressed their foreheads together for a long moment. Newt struggled not to smile when Theseus winked.

Graves's expression was unreadable. Newt couldn't interpret it at all, but Theseus said, "Newt, love, could you get me a drink?" as he reluctantly detached himself from Newt's side. "I really think Percy and I should chat."

Tina caught Newt by the champagne fountain, looking stunned; "Newt," she said, "you're not really - "

"Oh," Newt said, "you mean Theseus?"

"It's a joke, isn't it?"

Newt looked at her for a moment, suddenly aware that he could probably ruin Theseus's whole inane plot by sharing a little truth. But, well... "Theseus just," Newt started, a little frustratedly, "I know he's joking, but it doesn't feel like it, you know?"

"Oh," Tina said, relief dawning on her face. "So you're not - "

"He's always saying he needs to take care of me," Newt said, like he didn't hear her. "Like - like I'm not good at caring?" He ducked his head, peering at Tina through his eyelashes. "He always comes to me, you know, and he always gets into scrapes and has responsibilities and he said it was nice, to come home and - and be taken care of, to have me help him. But - do you think he didn't mean it?"

"Um," Tina said, her eyes wide. "I, um - "

Newt made his expression fall. "Oh, I'm sorry, Tina, I didn't mean - "

"No, no, it's - it's fine," Tina said, looking immensely awkward but rallying with fervour. "Perhaps he just wanted to seem more responsible? He is um, older than you."

Newt looked over at Theseus, who glanced at him and smiled brightly; Newt found himself smiling, absurdly fond, back. "I suppose," he said, as though regretful. "Thank you. He has been mentioning ropes a lot lately; maybe he needs some punishment, too."

When Newt returned to Theseus Graves was gone, and Theseus said, "I have never seen that man so surprised in my life," before he took a look at Newt's expression. "Newt, my love, what in Merlin's name did you do?"

"You started it," Newt reminded him, then tangled his fingers in Theseus's hair and pulled him down for a chaste press of lips. Theseus watched him for a moment after, eyes narrowed, and Newt raised his eyebrows and gave him his best innocent face as he dropped his hands back to his sides. "Didn't you want to see the President's face?"

"I do," Theseus said, "but after that? Oh, it's on."

It probably wasn't Newt's wisest decision to get into a war with Theseus over this, but Theseus's expression was entirely worth it.


End file.
